Trusting myself is a big deal,
It keeps coming up on this journey to heal,
The deep parts of me that have been wounded,
By others who don’t understand me and have concluded.
That there is something wrong with me,
And then that is what I began to see,
Because they didn’t understand how I am,
They first were triggered, pushed me away and then didn’t give a damn.
What I am learning is that this is false…
Information that I am small, and they exalt,
Themselves because I’ve proven to myself time and again,
That I can’t be strong or do my thing.
And of course, who I am is different than them,
And I fall in the trap of thinking that I’m wrong and overwhelm,
Myself because they pretend to be who they are not,
Reflecting myself, because I feel I’m in the same spot.
You see, I have made myself small for years,
From not trusting myself and then drowning in my tears,
And what I’m finding is that all this is false,
From ghosts of the past that I listened to most.
About who I am and what I should be doing,
From their perspective, it caused me to stop viewing…
myself, from a space that is bigger than life,
And as it should be, so I don’t cause myself strife.
But that is actually in my own mind,
My subconscious rules, and I have felt completely confined,
To believe I am bad or weak or small,
When the truth of it is, it has been an assault…
On my little girl’s heart, which I’ve been doing to her,
Because I didn’t know any better, until now, I confer,
With my voice and my truth, I speak so I know,
What direction I get to go in and decisions to flow.
What I am learning is something that has always been,
I have my own answers, they are deep within,
I don’t have to make myself small to receive,
Others’ opinions on how I should be.
I’ve done that for years and now it is time,
To recognize that trusting myself is far more sublime,
To see in me that I am brave,
And trust myself, as I forgave…
And my inner little girl who I’m getting to know,
How awesome she is and give her a chance to show,
Herself, me and others that we have what it takes,
To make my life beautiful, it is time to recreate.
The life I have wanted and couldn’t have from not trusting,
My own intuition, speaking my truth, now I’m adjusting,
To who I really am in this world, you see,
Is someone they aren’t used to and that someone is me.