How could anyone possibly have so much time to worry? I am beginning to think that there aren’t enough hours in the day to worry AND to live life. So what’s the deal?
I wrote about worrying about the past and the future and not focusing on the NOW a while ago. My next one is worrying about what others think about me. This one popped up today in doing a reading during my meditative morning. I guess meditation does work because it opens up a world of crap I need to work on and let go of. Yikes! But it’s working so that’s good.
Worrying about what others think leads to not being who you really are. Not being who you really are leads to not loving yourself because you think you are a fake and a phony. You can’t even attempt to love yourself if you are living your life for other people. It’s like a freaking vicious cycle! So what the hell does one do about something like this?
We are constantly being told to love ourselves, but no one ever explains why we do it and what we can do to stop the behavior and start loving ourselves. Shit! Well, I think I have an answer, at least one that may work for me.
I figure that the basis of worrying about what others think of me and the reason I am not loving myself stems once again to fear of loss. I’m sure there could be other reasons too, but this might be the big one. So, me being the over-analyzer that I am decides to figure this one out in order to possibly gain enough insight to help you! Ha!
So here it is … we all know how children are when they play. They don’t give a crap about what they doing, they are connected. They play dress up, they sing and dance, they can entertain themselves. They have nothing to prove to anyone and they are not held down with the opinions and directives of others. Little children have the answers. So why not learn something from them? Little children can do this because no one is watching them.
So here is my lesson. From Iyanla Vanzant’s book, “Until Today! Daily Devotions for Spiritual Growth and Peace of Mind.” “Live your life like nobody is watching you. Live beyond expectations. Live beyond what you have been told is right, wrong, good or bad. Just for one day, live like you are totally free to be anything and do anything you choose for yourself. Live from your innocence. Live from a sense of total satisfaction with who you are and what you have available to you. Let yourself dream like nobody can stop you. Let yourself sing like nobody is listening. Let yourself dance like nobody is watching. Play dress up! Talk to yourself! Tell yourself something that you would never repeat aloud. Let yourself be exactly who you are and live like it is okay – because it really is.”
Enough, my whole life has been based on others; pleasing them, worrying about them, making sure they are happy and in the meantime, I became miserable. No more! Why would we do that to ourselves? For most of us when we were little children we did all those things mentioned. We didn’t care what anyone thought. So why is it that we have to do that now? This seems to add a whole lot of different things that we do in our lives to the mix. When we try to fit in with everyone, we put ourselves in a box. We have to wear what other people where, we have to be what other people think we should be and then we lose ourselves in the process. When we lose ourselves, that is when we feel like a phony, a fake. That is when we stop loving ourselves because we are not who we are. So what’s the answer?
I went online and did some research and got some answers, but there are many. Here are a few, but I didn’t go into detail because you can online and dig for yourself if you wish. Here are the basics from http://www.wikihow.com/Not-Care-What-People-Think:
Stop over-thinking – most of the time when you think you are being judged, you probably aren’t. It’s just too hard to judge every single person you meet, analyzing their flaws and imperfections like they’re a test you’re grading.
- Put things into perspective – People who obsess about what others think tend to put ‘issues’ under the microscope and can’t see the forest for the trees. People who don’t obsess about what other people think tend to look at the big picture. You only get on chance at life; are you going to allow other people’s thoughts make it less enjoyable.
- Be confident in yourself – What if we could eliminate the amount of times we second-guess ourselves? Well you can. The trick, if you want to call it that, is to simply be more confident in the decision and actions you are taking.
- Learn to control your emotions – When you start to push your limits and get more confident, you’ll undoubtedly have mixed emotions. From stress, worry and fear, to relief and happiness, it can be a bit of a roller coaster of the mind; that is where controlling your emotions comes in.
- Accept yourself for who you are – Understandably, accepting yourself is not the easiest think to do. Everyone in the world is filled with some kind of doubt; it’s all about how they manage it.
This is just some information to get you started. Why not go back to living our lives like little children do. Everything would be more joyful and less serious and I believe we would be a lot more happy.