Watch The Ride of My Life – Poem Talks – On Being Nice©
Welcome to The Ride of My Life Podcast!
On Being Nice is a recognition of truth for me and how I tried to keep people in my life, no matter how I was treated because I loved them. I didn’t want them to leave because of my fear of being alone. I struggle through this for many years and realized that, as women, we are taught to put everyone else first. This completely diminished my sense of self to the point where I was lost and stuck. I share my thoughts of what being nice was for me. I also shared a couple of tools to help calm the nervous system – hands on heart and breathing and also bilateral stimulation through tapping on your shoulders. As well, I shared a book that really helped me out called, “The Good Girl Jail, When You Dare to Live from Your True Self” by Sandra Felt.
Follow me as I share my Poem Talks, my musings, my Inner Peace Journey and through the healing work I find myself fully committed to as I learn about the truth of who I am, find new awarenesses about myself and life and share it with you in hopes that it will provide insight to your journey as well.
My Poem Talks means a lot to me and I share my deep dive into Self over the past year and a half. I reference the poems I wrote since 2021, and share how I was going deep into my healing work because I knew things needed to change in my life. I asked for the changes but it took the moment to moment experience of life for me to learn more about my truth and why I am here on this planet.
The most important thing I’m finding is the connection between my Self, my Higher Self and my Higher Power. From the truth, love, beauty, connection, joy and inner peace I find inside, I am readily available to share my gifts with the world.
These poems that were written over this time, document the journey going on inside me. Who am I really? I am a highly sensitive being and I am Love.
It hasn’t been easy and quite frankly, this time around in this life, my Soul chose many challenges to face so I could learn about compassion, love, peace and joy (my own first and then for others). I lived my life in a complete state of “not good enough” which fully reflected in my experiences, and when that is going on, knowing myself as compassion, love, peace and joy was confounding to me.
Throughout this journey of seeking external sources to prove that I was worthy of love, after almost 30 years, I realized that the truth is inside me.
Working through grief was the kicker, feeling my anger (all my feelings) that I was never allowed to feel or show, I had no clue where I would end up.
I left my last relationship in April of 2021 and stayed in Central Florida for literally a gestation period of 8 months which pushed me into the re-birthing process to really get to know who I am and why I am here. My life really began to open up the following month as I was birthed into the beginning of my new and very different life.
Life doesn’t always work out in the way we plan (and mostly that is a good thing) but for me, confronting the darkness of my life and what I was bringing into jobs, relationships and life in general, showed me that how I lived and the things I was taught throughout my life was not my truth of who I am.
In order to truly heal, I needed to walk through the grief, as painful as it was, forgive myself for not knowing better at the times I didn’t which my behavior showed, and to forgive others fully in order to find the love inside me… as I continue to discover this truth and ultimately inner peace.
The journey continues…
You must be nice, they use to say,
The truth of me began to fall away,
When I was just a little girl,
I was taught to be nice and later this unfurled.
There was a time when my answer was “yes,”
All the time and can you guess,
What that did to me, it became a fight,
Inside of me for what was right.
It is ok, just to be nice,
Unless it puts your soul in a vice,
As little girls that’s how we were taught to be,
I can tell you this, that isn’t always me.
And it really shouldn’t be that way,
When we are nice to everyone, every day,
What about those that break our hearts,
Or treat us like we are carts.
Pushing us around each and every day,
We are stronger than that, not to let what you were told get in the way,
The shoulds have destroyed our very being,
And it’s time to look inside and begin seeing,
That it’s ok to say the word no,
Don’t worry about where that will go.
The challenge, I’ve found, is living with loss,
Like if I say no, that is the cost,
I will lose everyone that I hold dear,
But that is nothing but a fear.
That I’ve not been good enough to stand on my own,
And now there is something I’m being shown,
The showing is not out there, I find,
Because out there is where I’m left behind.
What I am seeing is something deep inside,
The truth of me, where my entire life I have had to hide,
Who am I in there? I’m finding is not so mild,
My inner beauty is something quite wild.
And in society, the powers that be,
Told me over again, they didn’t want to see,
The wild, I am, this child, indeed,
Was painfully made, to this, agreed,
With what they wanted and not who I am,
This isn’t right, it’s just a scam.
Why is it, then, I cannot just be me,
And live my beauty so others will see,
That I am who I am and no other, it’s true,
Who I’ve been as I withdrew…
Into desperately knowing there was something else,
And in fighting myself, oh, what a mess,
To this point in my life where it is time to take flight,
And show myself that I am right,
About the person that I be,
That wild woman is being set free!
Come join me in a healing partnership…
Redox Signaling Molecules by ASEA
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