Just Choose and See

 

I am beginning to see that I am not me,

Conforming to what others wanted me to be,

The plight of always being good,

My spirit locked up, therefore misunderstood.

I tried and tried to let them see,

Who I am, yet no one would agree,

How important it was to allow my spirit,

For freedom as I am, rather than being adherent.

When we are taught to be a certain way,

We lose ourselves in the process because it becomes about “they,”

The all-knowing and infamous, “they” we must follow,

Taking all of our feelings in, now we must swallow.

The fear, the shame, the anger, too,

Just to pretend to be someone, as we withdrew,

From ourselves, from our being, from our spirit, we hide,

To make sure we please others and hope to feel good inside.

That does not work, it cannot do,

The older we get, the more we review,

What society believes and what we hold dear,

May not be the same, but we are expected to bear.

The ways of the world, as women and as men,

In a patriarchal society that pushes us down, and when,

We attempt to surface, we hear the wrath,

That we are bucking a system, that has lost its path.

A system that does not understand human beings,

That relates to us as if we shouldn’t be seen,

Or heard, as generations ago we taught our children,

To be wise, you must be quiet and sit, and stay hidden.

Then when we grow up after listening to those rules,

We forget who we are and start feeling like a fool,

For listening to people who were raised just the same,

To keep this act going, as we sat in shame.

Not knowing at all what our truth is inside,

Constantly working at figuring things out, trying to hide,

Turning to addiction, depression and fear,

Constantly searching for answers to appear.

“They’re not coming! They’re not coming! Now what do I do?”

Listening to Facebook and news that has two things to say,

“Do this, no do that, no… now this is where you go.”

No wonder anxiety and grief are in overflow.

I have learned to watch from middle of this,

What goes on around me is pulling people into an abyss,

While I’m really sure that’s not where they want to go,

But how do we stop all this chaos to go with the flow.

One way I have found is to sit with myself,

And decide for me, not for anyone else,

It is time that we know that the answers are not out there,

Time to accept that we are part of the issues, we get to be aware.

That we made decisions that brought ourselves to a place,

Throughout the generations and now we feel lost in space,

Now is the time to face there’s an issue,

Let out the tears and the snot, get the tissue.

Until we release all this pain deep inside,

There is no room there for us to rise,

Like the Phoenix that comes back again and again,

We can do this and there is no timing of when.

The more we dig inside and learn to relieve,

We learn to let go and we get to grieve,

Let all that stuff out and when it’s time,

The best of who we are comes out, we’ve committed no crime.

We are who we are and that is good enough,

If others can’t understand that, then we get to rebuff,

What they think that we ought to be,

Knowing to the depths of ourselves that we are really free.

We decide to change the way we live and see life,

And sometimes the journey, cuts deep like a knife,

But here’s the thing I want you to know,

Be gentle with yourself and take it slow.

Walk this path and you will find,

Amazing things and people and a bit of the Divine,

It’s all waiting for you, you just get to make a choice,

Time to stand up for yourself and use your voice.

“We are here! We are here! Time to listen to us.”

We get to play the game of life with those we can trust,

And to get there we just get to believe,

In ourselves, we can do it, just choose and see.