What an incredible journey this is has been. I am back in Florida from going through my process and the deep dive into my healing journey from trauma. I can tell you that the journey never ends but the results along the way are amazing. I have very few flashbacks now and if I get one, I am able to deal with it with my tools. My nervous system is healing because I can tell that I don’t react or dissociate anymore, I just sit with whatever is coming up for me. This is so empowering. My hope is for all who have experienced trauma that you can witness for yourself freedom in your life.
Follow me as I share my Poem Talks, my musings, my Inner Peace Journey and through the healing work I find myself fully committed to as I learn about the truth of who I am, find new awarenesses about myself and life and share it with you in hopes that it will provide insight to your journey as well.
My Poem Talks means a lot to me and I share my deep dive into Self over the past year and a half. I reference the poems I wrote since 2021, and share how I was going deep into my healing work because I knew things needed to change in my life. I asked for the changes but it took the moment to moment experience of life for me to learn more about my truth and why I am here on this planet. The most important thing I’m finding is the connection between my Self, my Higher Self and my Higher Power. From the truth, love, beauty, connection, joy and inner peace I find inside, I am available to share my gifts with the world.
These poems that were written over this time, document the journey going on inside me. Who am I really? I am a highly sensitive being and I am Love. It hasn’t been easy and quite frankly, this time around in this life, my Soul chose many challenges to face so I could learn about compassion, love, peace and joy (my own first and then for others).
I lived my life in a complete state of “not good enough” which fully reflected in my experiences, and when that is going on, knowing myself as compassion, love, peace and joy was confounding to me.
Throughout this journey of seeking external sources to prove that I was worthy of love, after almost 30 years, I realized that the truth is inside me.
Working through grief was the kicker, feeling my anger (all my feelings) that I was never allowed to feel or show, I had no clue where I would end up.
I left my last relationship in April of 2021 and stayed in Central Florida for literally a gestation period of 8 months which pushed me into the re-birthing process to really get to know who I am and why I am here. My life really began to open up the following month as I was birthed into the beginning of my new and very different life.
Life doesn’t always work out in the way we plan (and mostly that is a good thing) but for me, confronting the darkness of my life and what I was bringing into jobs, relationships and life in general, showed me that how I lived and the things I was taught throughout my life was not my truth of who I am. In order to truly heal, I needed to walk through the grief, as painful as it was, forgive myself for not knowing better at the times I didn’t which my behavior showed, and to forgive others fully in order to find the love inside me… as I continue to discover this truth and ultimately inner peace.
The journey continues…
Why is it that we want to control?
When it certainly does take its toll,
On our souls into the inner parts of myself,
and I am working to bring her off the shelf.
When I know my own truth,
Then I can choose,
How I work with my inner children,
The answers inside no longer hidden.
She used to go into the closet to hide,
Because she knew not that I could provide,
Reparenting her and giving her love,
Requires me to become the transfer of,
The parents that she never felt she had,
Coming home to myself, I am mom and dad.
She did not get what she deserved,
So, she created the construct of being unnerved,
What she deserved, as we all do,
Is feeling nurtured, loved and wanted too.
But if our parents did not know how,
Then we have to take that on right now,
As adults it’s our responsibility,
To take care of our needs and have accountability.
We have the power, yes we do,
No matter what we’ve been told, here is the truth,
Trust in yourself, the answers are there,
You know who you are, you just need to dare.
To connect with what is really real,
That which is inside your heart, what you feel,
Although we have been told something different,
The truth is our feelings are deliberate.
For us to move through our lives,
Especially in the moment and how deep inside,
We know who we are, we must just begin,
To start that journey out of our minds, to win.
The love we have always looked for out there,
And finding out no one really cares,
There’s a reason for that, they have their journeys too,
We need to know that life begins with you,
It’s not about them, it’s about who you are,
And discover inside that rising star.
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