Well, I will tell you this. This past Thursday, the 18th was an interesting day. I was sitting at a local coffee shop working on getting my Podcast uploaded and ended up meeting two very interesting people on my journey. I was thrilled because I love when this happens.

Sometimes it throws me off my blogging and podcasting game. It is teaching me to go with the flow.

First of all, this coffee shop, Haven Coffee Roasters, in Winter Haven, FL, has some incredible people there. I don’t drink coffee, but I can say it smells delicious. I do drink tea and the ones I have had there were amazing, especially at this time of year with the Pumpkin Spice… mmmm my favorite. They will mix up your coffee or tea however you like it. The people, hospitality and vibes are amazing. I loved doing my work in there.

The Universe provided me with two incredible human beings in one place, in addition to the time I spent at the coffee shop. Strangers were there to assist me with a couple of things. Just grateful.

And then…

Doing the exercises is continuing to bring fear up to the surface for me to look at. Waking up on the morning of 11/19/2021, at 3:20 am. I am not going to get into the gist of what happened, but I will say it was definitely a trigger for me on something someone had told me. I was up until 6 am and then went back to sleep for a little while.

I found that the trigger was body fear and that the actual thing that was triggering me was not even happening. I was feeling like I was in the past while firmly rooted in the present moment. It was a Complex PTSD flashback and I really had to struggle to sit with it because it was too early to go for a walk which is something I do to get my body moving to relieve the stress.

So, at this point, I feel much better and am looking forward to seeing what comes next. Oh boy!

Staying in a high vibration even through the healing and challenges. It feels like it is getting easier some days to walk through it.

11/20/2021 – Talking about walking through stuff. This was a day of boundary protection. It is not easy because I was raised to be a people pleaser. Letting anyone walk over me was the name of the game. I am learning daily that when someone else’s behavior and fears start to penetrate my peace, I get to either say something or walk away. I was in a couple of positions yesterday where I also learned that not saying anything is a good thing too. That one was a challenge because I was a captive audience and really couldn’t leave. I just sat there and sent the person love, there was obviously something big going on with them. I’m finding that there are always options… and people pleasing is not one of them.

Also, as far as the car goes, I was able to discuss more about the next step in setting up an appointment with the carpenter, while I am back in South Florida over Thanksgiving. I’m really looking forward to that.

Today is a good day. I feel, well… interesting. I can’t explain it, but I know that things are working out even though my body feels like it is twisting into a knot of being scared about all this. Obviously, it is nothing I have ever worked on or done in my life.

I know deeply that this is meant to be. I am not going to the grave with my music still in me and this is my music that I wish to share. I have felt for a very long time that if I am able to walk through the trauma I went through and still be able to live my life on my terms, that it will open the door for others to do this.

I do it out of truth and love for myself and for others. I am also learning, though, that if someone doesn’t resonate with what I am doing or saying, that is ok. There are plenty of people that these “someone’s” can follow, it doesn’t have to be me.

Last thing… once again, I have found that I am pushing too hard on how to get this blog and podcast out there. Things are shifting quickly now and by the time you see this, I will have readjusted how I am doing this, again, for my self-care to be able to be a part of my routine. I simply ran out of time and energy to self-care and that, my dears, is not an option.

And we come to today…

Walking through the past few days and talking care of myself and allowing information to come through so I know what I am doing.

In the past, I tried to control my every move so I wouldn’t be surprised. Like I said, hypervigilance was the name of the game for me. For me to control my outward circumstances meant that I was fully in control of my life because I had always felt so out of control.

Well, my friends, that is a farce; it is so not true. There will always be something that doesn’t go as planned.

Open broad planning seems to be the way to go, not too specific because when something doesn’t pan out, there is disappointment. Probably added to more disappointment, especially if this is something that has been done your whole life, like I’ve been doing.

So, my learnings over the weekend are to go with the flow of whatever is coming up and “Don’t panic!” Everything is working out as is should for my highest good and for the next steps in this experimental process!

It is absolutely challenging and slowly but surely I am coming to understand more things about myself and my life.

I had plenty of time to work through a lot as I was packing, organizing and clearing out, once again.

I hope that you are able to gain something from my experiment and these blog/podcasts.

As of right now, I am on hold with the car and… hmmm, I’m ok with it. A shocker for me!

As we continue to go on this Ride of My Life together, I invite you to connect with me if you have any questions or just feel the need to connect! LOL

On to my next destination, back to South Florida, to prepare and tie up loose ends. Have a beautiful day!