There is a knowing that just shows up one day,
And at that point, I can no longer betray,
The truth of who I am inside,
I cannot run, I cannot hide.
The knowing runs so very deep,
It’s in my Soul, no more time to sleep.
It brings me back into who I am,
I’m done with the BS, beliefs be damned,
They have run my life, sub-consciously,
And when they show up, I live life irresponsibly.
For in that illusion, I am not who I be,
There is a traumatized little girl running amok inside of me,
That little girl just knows what she’s been told,
That I must behave a certain way for society to hold.
My heart and my spirit, is tied to patriarchy,
When I believe the lies, then I become very snarky,
I feel inside the fight of my life,
When the good girl and wild woman get into a fight.
When one knows the truth and wants to connect with the child,
Who was told things about her so she would delete the wild,
Inside of her that is who she remains,
When that came out in public, she could not maintain.
They would make fun of her and bully her until who she was died,
More and more each day, down deep inside,
The darkness inside that scared her to death,
Always feeling alone and holding her breath.
She never knew that who she is mattered more
than what “they” said about how she had to ignore,
Herself to make sure everyone else was ok,
Well, that ends now, on this very day.
No longer will she make sure everyone else is doing better,
She must take care of herself, she must learn to be clever,
To outsmart herself of those inner lies,
And help herself before her demise.
For you see the mask on the airplane is for me,
To be put on first before I can see,
Just how to be there for others, to help,
It’s not my job unless I am fully myself.