I learned about this a long time ago, but really didn’t understand it fully until the last few days.
I have talked about trauma causing hyper-vigilance and the whole waiting for the other shoe to drop and I figured I would go ahead and add this whole worry thing to this list.
Worry, it seems, is a lesser version of these other two but it gives off the same energy, to me.
When we worry, we are not in the moment. We are somewhere out in the future, and we miss so much in the present while we are worrying.
I know this. I have been doing it for my whole life.
So, as I walk through trust and faith, I learn that it counters all of those things.
I realized this as I was talking to an old boyfriend of mine a couple of times in the last two days. I tend to make these stories up in my head (thoughts) which cause me to get sad, angry, hurt, afraid (feelings) and this in turn becomes the jumping off point for worry, hyper-vigilance and the other shoe dropping.
The interesting thing in this is… wait for it… 99% of the time, nothing I’m worrying about every happens. In fact, something good usually happens, but I’m not paying attention in the moment until I have a huge ah-hah realization later on.
Today, my practice from the recognition is to stay in the present moment and work on not thinking the thoughts that eventually cause the crappy feelings and then the worry.
I learned this because things that I thought were true about my ex, were in fact made up because I had no closure. I have it now. Closure is a good thing for me.
Anyway, I kinda want you to get that our thoughts (generally about the past) and then our feelings about the thoughts that get created and put us into this, are wasted because the past has already happened. We are just bringing it back up because that is what we know. That is what we are comfortable with and somehow feel safe in that although it causes chaos in life.
The best way I have found to work through this is to talk myself out of the thought. “I’m ok. All is well. I am safe.” Whatever I find to say that works, I do. I also throw in some gratitude and that really helps thing move along.
These usually takes care of it now, in the moment because really the moment is all there is. If I start to feel myself going into an emotion anyway, I continue to be gentle with myself and remind myself that I am ok. Eventually it dissipates.
Now, though, the trust and faith is really beginning to surface for me and I grab onto that and think about the fact that everything always works out for me and all is really well.
These are just things that I have been working through over the years and it has taken me a long time to see this. The trust and faith have kicked in and I continue to work on the worry, hyper-vigilance and the other shoe dropping until I just don’t do it anymore.
I find that is how everything works. Eventually, we turn a corner and we don’t go backwards. It just doesn’t work that way.
Here’s to being in the moment and knowing everything is ok exactly as it is.